26 May 1955 "I'm Ethel Murtz for a few more days"

Well, I wish I was having as much fun as Ethel as a landlady, getting into scrapes with Lucy, but alas. I have been rather busy since thursday and through the holiday weekend as a landlady. Part of our income comes from a house we own and rent out and I have had some tenent trouble lately. I have to clean up, advertise and get rented our little house by June, as our tenent suddenly decided she did not want to pay May's rent, nor the utilities and that she is moving out, so my homemaking, gardening, and blogging has had to take a back seat. Don't worry, though, I may be back in the saddle by this week. And I promise a good long blog tomorrow or thursday.

I just wanted to let everyone know I am still thinking about all of you and about things we have discussed. A blog is in the works but now I have to get back to my Ethel Murtz status. Oh, if only I had a Lucy to help me out!

21-23 may 1955 “Oldest Driver, Cutest Diver, Gardening, Cooking, and the Blues vs. Depression”

  Oldest man to drive in the Grand Prix (55) comes in 6th. Today, in 1955, in front of a hometown Monte Carlo crowd, a few weeks before his 56th birthday he became the oldest driver to compete in a Formula 1 race. To the applause of Prince Rainier and his many fans he guided his Lancia D50 to a sixth place finish in the 1955 Monaco Grand Prix.

Zale Perry on the cover of the sports illustrated for today in 1955. She was a well known diver (still alive today) and played a small part in Hollywood. She played the resident damsel in distress in the Sea Hunt series (starring another ‘star diver’ Lloyd Bridges. The series would not start until 1957, however, so I have not seen it.) Prior to this, she was a test diver for major equipment manufacturers. Zale Perry began her diving career in 1951 and is considered an authority on sport diving. She was key in the development of decompression chamber treatment for diving injuries and is now a member of the Diving Hall of Fame

 

My posts have not been as regular as I like, but it is finally nice out and I cannot stay out of my garden. My time out of the home and it’s chores finds me there.

It left me to ponder how like Housework is Gardening. Or really, how being a homemaker is much like being a gardener, with some minor differences, in the house I am always taking the dirt out, while in my garden I am always hauling dirt in.

One can really see and feel the early homemakers when one is both a homemaker and a gardener. For, there was a time when what happened in the garden fed what went on in the kitchen. Your food and your cleaners, your soaps etc all came from your garden and farm. Today we have the luxury of the grocery store and certainly they did in 1955 as well. Yet, as I have mentioned before, being the age I am now in 1955, I would certainly hold fast to my Victory Garden. I would be happy for the full shelves at the grocery store, but there would be too many memories of want in me from the depression through the war to not be ‘prepared’. Today, it seems, being prepared means over buying everything you can get your hands on at BJ’s and stashing it away, but that, for me,  is too much and really I want to become more self-reliant. I don’t know how my little garden will yield this year. We shall see. I will document it in pictures, words, and drawings so I can learn from it and enjoy it later. My plan is to fill some shelves this fall with canned items and to see how many jams and things I can actually make from what my little plot of land yields.

We New Englanders know we have only a small window to prepare and enjoy our warm weather. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to live and garden in a warm climate year round. It must be lovely. Though, I cannot take the heat, so anything above 80 degrees and I need to sit in the shade or in a pool or  the ocean, so I guess I am a true New Englander in that. I actually like the cooler seasons. Somehow it makes spring and summer more sweet. I guess it is the ‘too much of a good thing ruins it’ adage for me.

I just ordered this 1949 Gardeners manual and will share the skills once I get it. There are all sorts of “how-tos” and hints. It will be fun and exciting to see what they offer.

Now, my own vegetable garden is still under way. As in much of my current life, I want my garden to first be practical and serve its purpose, but then to please the eye and senses. I don’t want to live in a house that is only functional, I want it to look and feel good and to make me smile. So, too, then should my veg garden when I think of the time I will spend it it. Really, I was thinking, if we look at our gardens, our yards, as our home on the outside, then certainly the vegetable garden is like our kitchen in that ‘outside home’. And, in fact, it is often called a ‘kitchen garden’ as it serves the kitchen. But, and again here we see this happening in the 1930’s on, the kitchen, now being more populated by homemakers than servants, a place to work AND to decorate. Therefore, it follows that the kitchen should be functional but pretty with a nice place to sit and relax, so should the veg garden. So, while I am getting all my veg in on time, amongst that I am trying to ‘decorate’ as well.

Here is the beginning stages of my little garden. Here you can see the shambles of it, but if you can believe it, it looked worse than this when I started this summer. There was no tall fence ( I put that in this spring) and the front post is in for my now fence there. The beds have not been turned nor fed with wheel barrel loads of compost, which came later. This became this and is now this: I have not painted nor added all the finials to the top. Here you can see I weeded and mulched the areas outside of the beds. The plants planted along the fence on the inside of the garden is my ‘tea garden’. It contains lemon balm, two types of mint, Roses (for rosehips) bee balm (bergamot) and Anise. These all grow and spread wonderfully and so will be cut often and dried for my homemade teas for the future. In front of the fence facing the road are two hydrangeas (very popular on the cape as our soil has them blooming in the most amazing blue you have ever seen!) and daylilies I took from our antique house we rent out.

Here in the second veg bed I have added an old copper obelisk. It has a nice patina. This bed has snow peas climbing up chicken wire in the back and three rows (another row next week) of various tomatoes. The front has my kale and cabbage and onions, celery and beets. This is nicely mulched, but you can see behind it has yet to be mulched. There, however is where I am planting grapes. All along the back fence you see will be grapes except the first panel nearest the road are my zucchini which will trail up the fence as well, as it saves space from having them spread on the ground and makes nicer fruit, I feel.

Here are some shots of my roses:

The future plans for my veg garden involve the fence continuing around the whole garden with a built in bench at one end under an arbor which will also grow grapes. I am planting grapes along the rest of the fence around the garden and training them to the fence height. I have future plans for homemade wine and of course eating fresh and making jams. My other fruits, like blackberry, raspberry, blueberry, and strawberry are being planted around my little orchard. I hope to one day have a living fence around the orchard of blackberry and raspberry bushes. Thus, beauty, protection and food for the table.

So, really, much like my home, I think it important that each ‘room’ of the garden should 1)function 2)be well maintained with regular chores 2)be pleasing to the eye and of course 4) have a comfortable place to sit for you and friends. Because, why go not sit and enjoy your labor and it allows you to dream up what you can do better in the future. And, as a homemaker, we really should in whatever way we can (depending on if we live in the city or suburbs or country) have gardening be a part of our work.  Try gardening, if you have not yet, and you will see that, like housework, it can be the most frustrating and the most rewarding sort of work.

“There can be no other occupation like gardening in which, if you were to creep up behind someone at their work, you would find them smiling. “ ~Mirabel Osler

Now, into the house and on to cooking. As I mentioned the other day, I have been relegating only three days a week to a dessert, as we are trying to watch our waistlines. One of my desserts this was was lovely apple tarts from my 1950s Boston Cooking School book (one of my favorites). Here is the recipe and the result: Here is the recipe for the biscuit dough you would use: And here is the hard sauce recipe:

Really, they were wonderfully light. I thought the biscuit dough would not cook all the way through and it would be doughy, but it was nice. Biscuit dough, as you know, is not sweet, but the baked apple inside with the nice hard sauce on top, was really lovely. I highly recommend it and would make it again.

I did a photo shoot of the process:

I forgot to get a picture of it, but I made a nice lamb stew the other day. What I have learned is the best method for thickening sauces and gravies ( I am sure most of you already knew this) is to take a bowl and siphon out some of the hot broth from whatever you want to make into a sauce or gravy into the bowl. Then you add your flour to that and beat it with a hand whisk. The rule of thumb is roughly one tbs flour for each cup of broth, but I am learning to really wing it more or ‘feel’ the dishes.  Now whisking the flour and broth in the bowl separately from the dish you are making will make it smooth and you can add flour until it looks a little thicker than you would want. Now you slowly pour this into your stew or the remaining broth in your pan in which you are making gravy and whisk as you pour it in. It works every time and makes a nice smooth sauce/gravy. I remember at one of my vintage dinners someone commented on it being homemade and having no lumps ( I remember an old commercial like that!). A long cry from my old way of making gravy which was to literally just take the hot grease out and serve that as is as. I could never get the gravy to not be lumpy. I have come a long way!

I just want to address a comment I received yesterday on my post about feeling the “Blues”. I originally talked about this because a few of my regular readers asked me how I deal with them. I felt right in answering their query and also sharing with you how I deal with sadness. Yet, this comment really has hurt me in a way and made me think more about our modern concepts of ourselves. Here was the comment (which was anonymous by the way) Since starting this post, though, I have received some nice comments which seem to go along the lines of how I feel about it. Here was the comment:

Please don't make light of depression, which really is a serious mental illness, and not just a low period in your life. It's too easy to generalize--people in the 1950's managed depression vs. people today dwelling in it. In the 1950's clinical depression most definitely existed, and even more dangerously so, as it went unchecked and untreated. Like in so many other ways, medical treatment of the 1950's was very misguided (though well-intended), but the days of locking patients away still lingered.
Depression is truly a physical illness caused by improper chemical production in the brain. No putting on a happy face can cure that.

My response, of course, was that I know there is clinical depression and that my thoughts were for those of us who DO NOT suffer from clinical depression and that I hopefully never make light of any ailment.

It really got me thinking how this concept of foreboden subject is very modern. Certainly, clinical depression is very real and sad. Yet, for those of us who DO NOT suffer from it, we should not be denied the ability to discuss our own sadness and grief. Those with an accepted and clinically diagnosed disease do not own the ailments. That is to say, someone with cancer might feel certain aches and pains yet those of us who do not have cancer should still be allowed to discuss how we ourselves deal with such pain without making the cancer patient feel as if we are not sympathetic to their own burden. It is not making light or not having empathy for those with the clinical real problems.

I also find it interesting that if someone were to have clinical depression, I certainly hope that they would not come looking for answers on a blog. I am not a professional psychologist and this is merely a blog of my feelings. Perhaps, I am taking this too personally, but I tend to now take things I see in the modern world and digest it into the comparison with the old. Certainly, I am glad for those with clinical depression that they have medicine and therapy and not shock treatment in mental hospitals, but that does not diminish those of us who merely are blue from having valid discussions on ways we can ‘deal with the blues’ and sometimes ‘putting on a happy face’ does help, I know I have tried it and it HAS worked. If a simple solution does not work for someone than perhaps they could use that as a key to go and get checked to see if they DO have clinical depression. Something they may not have known had there not been discussion of it.   If it were considered not PC to discuss this, then perhaps a reader who felt they had tried that and it didn't work would not have known to go and get diagnosed for clinical depression.

So, my point is, discussing our feelings and how we deal with it IS important in such a case and is in no way offensive to those with the real depression. Yet, we also don’t want to over analyses them or ‘dwell’ in them, because this will often lead to feeding and continuing the feeling, that is if you do not have clinical depression. I really do feel, from my own experience, that dwelling or feeling the need to ‘reward yourself’ with a treat as you are feeling blue, only sets yourself up to continue to feel blue in the future. Of course we will be sad, but sometimes a Pavlovian response could happen where there is a day you might feel lazy and not want to deal with your usual routine and you suddenly feel ‘blue’ as a mechanism to get to the ‘reward’. I know sometimes that is how it worked for me. And I KNOW I used it as an excuse to be lazy. Which, in a way, could be fine, except I find my life fuller and happier being busy and doing and not being lazy. Then, when I have a day of rest, it is really appreciated and all the little things, like sitting and watching my chickens scratch in their yard, have a more poignant feel to them because it is a special moment of relaxation. Not being all the time IN your emotions or how you ‘feel’ about every little thing, really is an important boon to happiness. I honestly felt I was just not a happy person and happiness was for the mindless, but since becoming more active and really allowing the things I enjoy which I use to view as silly to have more meaning, my life, in turn, seems more meaningful.

I also have a very dear friend who is clinically depressed. He is very intelligent and is currently studying math at university. He is, in my opinion, a genius. And with his intense mind and ability to view the world in abstract mathematics, he has to deal with depression. And he does this through medication, but I can tell you there have been many times that hubby and I have had to help him ‘out of his funk’ with putting on a happy face and helping to get him active. What may work for one does not work for all, but that does not mean that no one can then discuss it. I remember, when we were sailing a lot and that summer we were literally sailing beach bums, he came along with us often and the simple act of sailing, handling the lines and sheets and trying to guide us on the water kept him out of himself and he was the least depressed I have ever seen him. Activity really does help.

I don’t want to be seen as always saying, ‘it was better then’. I know there are many things that are so much better now, but it seems with the advancement in science and technology and the move to more equality, we have also, somehow, lost some of our humanity. And what I mean by that is I think it very human to be kind and considerate. I think to put yourself second sometimes is very human. Any mammal can grab for the best piece of meat and growl at its neighbors, but a human can stop and asses and think, “Hmm, maybe in this instance, I should let the other person go first”. It is good for the survival of ourselves to think of ourselves first, but it is also human to think, sometimes, outside of yourself. I know from my own experience you can be too much in your own head and view the world always as “well, how is that going to affect me?” That is why I think it a modern moment to have someone view a talk about feeling less blue while they have depression and think, “Hey, I can’t do that, they are making fun of me”. Now, I am not picking on the anonymous commenter and I certainly am guilty of this same thing, but again, I feel it is a very modern moment.

What do you think? Have I merely somehow taken this out of proportion, or do you also feel somehow in the modern world the fear of offending leaves us to not discuss the important things but instead watch TV, and care more about Brittany Spears’ new boy toy or who is doing what on Survivor?. I don’t want to live in the modern world if I am not allowed to discuss things that I find very real with other very real people. I don’t want to exchange fear of offense for mindless prattle about movie stars and what happened on ‘desperate housewives’ last night. But, again, perhaps I will merely end up living in my world populated by only a few people, but I would rather that than a sort of watered down ‘safe’ sort of life.

I guess, rather it is good or bad, I feel more the pull to really just make my own life the way I want it to be and if that means disconnecting myself more from the ‘grid’ of the consuming media driven world, then so be it. I might be lonely, but I would rather keep busy in my garden and home and community, then spend hours talking about some reality show or how awesome it is to play a video game. I don’t think either of those things bad nor not enjoyable, but I do think having a real discussion about art and life and craft and how they fit into our world and history IS important to me. Maybe I am just becoming a ‘vintage snob’ if there is such a thing. How do any of you who love the ‘old ways’ cope and make it work in modern days? That might be a nice discussing point.

Well, I will leave you with that to ponder and then hopefully to discuss here and we shall see how we all feel on that subject.

Until later, then, happy homemaking!

22 1/2 May 1955 “In the Garden”

I will return later tonight, when I have done my share of gardening, with a real post. Just wanted to let everyone know I am thinking of them over this holiday weekend.

Until later tonight, then, happy gardening and whatnot.

18 May 1955” TV Tie-ins, Teddy Girls, Crepes, and dealing with the Blues”

First TV tie in for kids. You can really see this is the beginning of the REAL TV generation. Being closer to 40 than 20 in 1955 I would most likely enjoy some of the TV programs and share in occasional TV nights with friends, but really the children of the 1950s (those darn baby boomers) really begin the framework to build our current state of dependency on passive entertainment. So begins the move towards the world we have today where we constantly need a toy jangled before our face or we get fussy and cry.

I thought this girl looked rather 1980s, but this is actually a 1955 photo of an English “Teddy Girl” the counterpoint to the “Teddy Boy” of that era. The British Teddy Boy subculture is typified by young men wearing clothes inspired by the styles of the Edwardian period (1901-1910). The subculture started in London in the 1950s and rapidly spread across the UK, soon becoming strongly associated with American rock and roll music of the period. The U.S. film Blackboard jungleplayed a role in this movement and when it was shown at a South London Cinema in Elephant and Castle in 1956, the teenage Teddy boy audience began to riot, tearing up seats and dancing in the aisles. At first, hearing of this subculture I thought, “hmm, here is a 20th c. example of a group looking to the past for inspiration”. But, I was disillusioned to find it was only for the fashion and that their attitude and behavior were anything BUT Edwardian.

The movie Blackboard Jungle was really felt to be a big role in showing and introducing the ‘teens’ at the time to rock and roll with Bill Haley and the Comet’s ‘Rock around the Clock’. I watched the film earlier this year, as it came out in 1955, and it was meant to show how harsh the teens in inner cities were becoming. The youth movement was explored to show how dangerous and what little respect they had. You can really see how it shows probably what most schools, even rural schools, today are like. In a way, rather than pointing out the horrid attitudes and disrespect of the youths to fix the issue, it instead glorified the attitude, fashion and music and probably had the opposite affect. I have begun to feel it was a tantamount point in Media forming the “youth is better, I hate old age, in your face” attitude that we take for granted today.

I wonder if we shall ever shake the current mindset that reveres youth, hostility, and self-obsession? Only time will tell, though with the current and continuing hold TV, movies, reality shows, and general media have over the world, I think not. It’s too bad because it does such a disservice to young people. It gives them nothing to shoot for. If they are revered and thought ‘cool’ for merely being young and rebellious, than they strive for nothing. Then, as they age, they feel useless and need to hold onto their youth never wanting to grow up. I really think being a grown up is underrated and it is too bad, as it can really be liberating and fun.

Since my hubby has started his new job two weeks ago, I have had to really scramble to make my usual routine function as it had. Thank goodness I was already IN a routine, but now it is definitely undergoing some restructuring, which is good in and of itself, as I feel it really is testing the skills I have gained thus far. While he once had a schedule of m-f at a set time, he now works all sorts of hours including weekends sometimes and days off are random. It really means I need to rethink and reshape things. That is also, really, why there have been less photos and recipes of late. Not that I have not been busy cooking, but only out of sorts and not remembering to take photos.

However, I did make some wonderful crepes yesterday morning for breakfast. They were so yummy and really quite easy. I am going to be making some dinner crepes in the future. I had once, as a child, made crepes St. Gabrielle as a special treat for my parents, as I wanted to try and cook. They were rather good but really was my only foray into cooking. Here I am many years later, finding them wonderful to make and full of promise. Though there is a crepes heading in my Boston Cooking School book for crepes these were actually listed under FRENCH PANCAKES.  Here is the recipe from my Boston Cooking School book of 1951:

French pancakes are internationally famous for dessert, but they are also the basis for some very exceptional luncheon dishes and provide an epicurean way to use leftovers (I love that!)

1 cup pasty or all-purpose flour, sifted

1/2 tsp. salt

1 cup milk

2 eggs

Mix Flour and salt. Add milk and stir until perfectly smooth. Add eggs and beat thoroughly. Let stand at least 1/2 hour.

Heat 5 inch or other small frying pan. Grease with a few drops of oil and pour in just enough batter to cover pan with very thin layer. Tilt pan so that mixture spreads evenly. When cooked on one side, toss or turn with spatula and cook on other side. Cook pancakes one by one. Roll up or fold in quarters. Makes 18 to 24.

There are some variations of these that I will make and then share the recipes with you in the future. When I made these, I first cut up some apples and cooked them in butter and cinnamon, then placed them in the crepes, sprinkled with confectioners sugar and a fresh slice of apple and served with maple syrup and jam. They make a great breakfast or dessert. I found them fun to make and by making them individually, they cooked perfectly and the batter does not have the tendency to cook unevenly or oddly as sometimes I find pancake batter to do.

Lately, we have been talking about dealing with the blues. I know this past year and the beginning of this year for me has had some sad times. As I have briefly mentioned in previous blogs, I have had to deal with my mother’s Alzheimer's, my fathers stroke, putting a beloved pet to sleep among a myriad of other woes. Yet, this year particularly, I feel I have become better equipped to deal with it. The reason? This project has allowed me to grow up. That is not to say that grown ups do not feel sadness, but the way in which I have dealt with my own personal sadness and blues this year has been with ACTION.

I really think older generations, particularly the generation of the 1940s-1950s, after having come through the war and the Depression, had their own way of dealing. They had very real and tangible losses and sadness, yet they had to go on and continue for themselves and for others. Certainly, a woman would break down and weep at the loss of her son during the war, but she would also set aside her own grief to help others and to help the ‘war effort’. This ACTION could be a boon. It would be a salve to sadness.

I think the other element in the elixir of joy after grief is community. Again, that same woman would have lost her son, she would have had others with the same situation or others with sons still alive and fighting and for them, she would stand up and put on a ‘happy face’. There seems to be a difference between denying your emotions and feelings and really ‘trying out happiness’. Certainly, you are sad or lonely one day and you feel it, but I find the less you dwell on the actual sadness and the more you try to take ACTION, any old thing, clean out that back pantry you have been meaning to get to, scrub out the grout you never have time for, and if you can see someone for lunch or coffee, put on the face you would want them to see. Sometimes, practicing happiness will eventually bring it out in you. I think this form of not dwelling is not repression. Repression, to me, would be to deny it or act as if there is nothing wrong, I think that is different than accepting your sadness, but knowing you don’t like it. We hardly wish to be sad or unhappy, so we need to act as if we are not and take our minds off it to ‘cure the blues’.

I am sure this sounds very trite or simplistic, but, in all honestly, it is very real to me now how I deal with my sadness or a blue day. The 2008 me would often dwell on sadness or how I felt bad. I would spend hours, sometimes days, just wondering, what can I do to get over feeling this way. Maybe I will go get some coffee and magazines at the bookstore. Perhaps, I will go shopping somewhere. Or, I will talk with someone about it endlessly, the sadness. Really, all that ever did was help me to dwell and stay in the moment of sadness.

The way in which we now, modern folk, address our personal sadness and depression is actually rather new. It came out of the Freudian psychology of the 20th c. By the late 1950s early 1960’s the ‘analyst’ was the new pet. Evaluating your emotions, raging our your feelings, it was in vogue. The very fact that we now place so much importance on our mental health is due largely to that. Now, don’t get me wrong, we should be healthy mentally, but what I find odd, is many women from this time period 30s-50s) seem to have overcome enormous obstacles of death and loss and came out smiling and honestly happy, raising families and keeping active. We seem, now, to be always talking and dealing with our emotions. They have become some sort of tiger loose from its cage we are always trying to capture. There are countless books and shows and TV about how ‘we feel’. Endless talk shows to express how we feel guilt and sadness and anger, it cannot be good for us, surely, all this dwelling in sadness and anger. But, honestly, it really does go well with our passive sort of society of TV and entertainment. The ‘act’ of sitting and dwelling on our sadness and bad lot in life seems really to fit right in.

There is a similar element to this as there is to the glorification of the sexual and the rebel. Those who once were the fringe of a society became glorified in a way. It is rather odd, when you really think about it. Now the rebel youth with an ‘in your face attitude’ is the norm. The sexy teen is just part of the world. Grown woman today on television often say with pride, ‘Yeah, I am a bitch, deal with it’. We glorify rudeness, why therefore should we not exalt sadness and self-obsession?

Again, I do not want anyone to think that I am trying to simplify or to ignore anyone’s sadness, but there is a reason mothers in the 1950s would most likely tell a sad child, “Well, you have it much better than I did or think of the poor children in Africa”. It was not an evasion of the emotions, but a check to say, PERSPECTIVE. And to learn the lesson that world does not revolve around yourself. A very grownup realization that many don’t come to. Again, please don’t think I am saying it is selfish to feel sad, but in what I have found, I think it can help you to get out of the sadness.  It is true that many people have it MUCH worse than we. People who don’t know clean drinking water or basic healthcare. That doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to feel sad one day as we sit in our comfortable homes but it does mean, ‘count your blessings and put on a smile’ sometimes it really works.

Here is a case in point for me. Yesterday I had a ‘bad day at work’ which means those in the house have to suffer at that moment. I have not had many bad days, but I was just sort of out of sorts as I am adjusting to a new scattered schedule and I wanted to make homemade doughnuts yesterday to have with hubby for breakfast. I had made them before, but wanted to try a new recipe. Let’s say they did not turn out. The oil was too hot, the kitchen was suddenly a mess, Gussie came down in the midst of it and hubby too and I became upset and they received the backlash.  I was angry and upset and very ‘self-centered’ at that moment. It was true this was anger, not sadness, but believe me, had I allowed myself to only dwell in it, later in the day there could have been a pity-party. Or, perhaps if something happened like this and those around you just don’t want to deal, as we don’t have the pull together spirits often exhibited in older generations, they would have went off and I would have sulked and later in the day I could have been left to feel, “well, who cares, I work hard in the house no one appreciates me” etc. But, that is not what happened. Hubby said, why don’t you just toss it and start over as if it is a new day. Gussie said, “Yes, and here I will help clean up” and away we went. Before you know it, a new clean kitchen, eggs and bacon on the stove the, coffee percolating away, and we all sat down to a happy breakfast.

In this instance, of course, I had others to help me out of the funk; the community that is so important. But, there are many times that I am alone in the house and have felt blue. I remember early on in my project I had a very blue day, I believe I even did a post about it, that I had been very down. I had found some old home movies on YouTube from the 1950s. Watching the silent happy families smiling and living and of course, dressed as I was, I felt sort of ‘left behind’. I felt a connection more with these people than with my own world. This, however, was just self-obsession. I was truly sad, but I was still exhibiting my 2008 behavior of self-evaluation. Rather than just enjoy these movies and possibly use them as fodder for a good post about the time, I turned it inward and felt alone and sad. I was a newbie in 1955 then, now if that were to happen (though it does happen less I have noticed) I would get up, and DO something. ACTION is really a salve to such wounds. I think my sadness in that moment was also the masked sadness for my mother and her really being gone from me. In those silent laughing faces I saw my young family I never knew (as I was born late and therefore very much an only child) the young mother I never met smiling and laughing in the joy of a bygone age. I realize that now, but not from years of self-analysis or seeing a ‘shrink’ but from doing. From living out a life now that is real and tangible. I do and make things everyday that is very real and in those moments, sometimes, I feel a connection to my mother that I could never feel sitting and weeping or crying my heart out to a psychologist. Sadness is and will always be a part of our human experience and the best way to deal with it and enjoy the rest of life is to really work through it, take yourself ‘out of it’.

I think with our modern sadness we have, again, sort of thrown out the baby with the bathwater. Modern psychoanalysis teaches us to dwell on ourselves and our emotions to the point of excluding the outside world. We need to acknowledge our sadness, certainly, but we do not want to be sad so we need to set about changing it. IF we are fat we want to be thin so we try to change it. If we do not like a room we repaint it. So, if you are sad and blue one day, actively try to change it either with action or community. I know part of the sadness we have talked about is being sort of without community. WE vintage gals sometimes feel out of the modern world and would like more vintage gals around us. Hopefully we can use the computer to alleviate that a bit.

I have actually been toying with the idea of setting up a separate website that we could use to chat on and post recipes and use as a vintage forum, but I don’t want it to seem to take away from my project or to be too modern, but if it could be a sort of ‘vintage club’ for all of you that live all over the world, it might be fun. A place that would allow us to forum together and to also remind each other, okay we have had some fun here, now get off the computer and get to work! But, let me know what You think. I won’t do it if it seems a bad modern idea. I will consider it and put it into my daily tasks to find out how I would put such a think together if any of you felt it would be fun to visit and share your things there. Let me know. If you are a reader and have not commented, but would like such a place, let me know. We are, after all, a community, so I think a vote on it is only fair.

Well, I am off to do my ironing, it is Tuesday after all. I hope everyone has a fine happy day and remember, we are all here for one another.

Happy Homemaking and remember, ‘put on a happy face’

14 & 15 May 1955 “Treaties signed, Mountains climbed, Gardens Grown, and the Solitary Life”

Yesterday, May 14th 1955, Eight communist bloc countries, including the Soviet Union, signed the Warsaw Pact. The Warsaw Pact was an organization of Communist states in Central and Eastern Europe. It was the counterpart to our NATO. In 1991, the Warsaw Pact will break up after most of the Communist governments fall, and the Soviet Union disintegrates. in 2005 Poland will decide to make its military archives available to the world. We will find that Poland, itself, was home to 250 nuclear missiles. It is funny how we all live so closely on such a taught thread. When I see this photo, which is from 1955 of the members signing the Warsaw Pact, I cannot help but think, what a better job, or at least a fair better job, we women might actually do running things. Strange, indeed.

The Austrian State Treaty  or Austrian Independence Treaty re-established Austria as a sovereign state today, May 15 1955. The treaty re-established a free, sovereign and democratic Austria. It would not have been long ago, today, that that poor country would have been taken over by the Germans. How fresh the fear and amazement of that war was in 1955, particularly to Europeans, I am sure, as they were left with the destruction and aftermath, food shortage etc of the war. When viewed that way, it is easy to see how we tried to ‘forget the horror’ and threw the baby out with the bath water. Everyone wanted things new and better so nothing like this could happen. Now, we look back on such a short time in history, the 20th century, and wonder where did our basic ‘good human qualities’ go? I know we are definitely better off today, I do not doubt it, but I think there is room in our modern fast paced life for manners, personal pride, and community.

Makalu, the fifth highest mountain in the world on the border between Nepal and China, was first climbed successfully for the first time today, May 15, 1955 by Lionel Terray and Jean Couzy of a French expedition led by Jean Franco. [I know there are many women climbers and I am not saying specifically that it is an a men’s desire, but I do feel sometimes that men needed the ACTION of bravery and show sometimes over shadows women’s bravery of being at home and quietly keeping the world going. In so many ways, particularly before women were give the right to fight or be ‘out there’ we have had to ‘keep the home fires burning’. That is why I say our ACTION does not have to be climbing mountains or jumping out windows. Even on a very basic brain level, if our bodies respond with happiness and adrenalin after a successful day of cleaning and decorating our home, we feel the same as the man standing on top of the mountain. Is one more valid than the other? I honestly don’t think so. Hurrah for the man on the mountain but Brava for the smiling homemaker in her kitchen, dishes done, dinner cooking, cake in the oven and a basket of mending on her lap. I think if we, those we feel drawn to it or wish to try it, can see the honest inherent value in homemaking in this way, we will endeavor to follow it’s path and not be ashamed to show it to our daughter or even, imagine that, offer it to them as a CAREER choice.

Yesterday I cut my finger whilst making my hubby lunch for the day. In the end, he had to buy lunch and I was left a bit slower for the remainder of the day. Every time something comes up that causes my schedule to change, I realize how elastic homemaking is, really. I am all for lists and schedules and think to run a home on the level I think we all deserve, they are a must! Yet, as we are our own boss and staff, we can, at any point, change things up. On occasions such as yesterday, that is what we do. But, while having learned the importance of the list, we use that power to restructure our day. Not unlike a great General who has been ‘outflanked’ we must rally our troops and using our keen intellect and prowess in warfare, reassemble and charge on with new strategy. So, that is what I did.

Part of yesterdays plan was to continue with my next ‘house project’ which is actually in the garden. I have been planning a new fence along the front of our property. My veg garden sits at the front of the property nearest the road, as that is the spot which receives sun all day. I want the front of the house, it’s curb appeal, to be addressed first. I feel that way I am working from the front to the back. Also, I think the view we offer to the world is very 1950’s and, I must say, it does make one feel good to know we are showing our best to the world. Of course, right now you would not know that by the condition of my yard, as it is in flux, but a gal must do things in stages.

Now, back to the fence. I have toyed with a few different designs in my sketchbook for fencing. The idea of hiring someone to do it is out as the amount of fencing, which is not really alot, would be VERY expensive. I figure, I am a homemaker and clever, I certainly can manage to design and then execute a fence. What is a fence, really? Some boards and post fastened together to either exclude or impress or a little of both. I mean, certainly I adore this but it would look rather silly on our small drive leading to our little cape cottage. That brings me to another thing, SCALE. It is so important, I think, to remember scale in your home. Obviously, no one would put this massive gate in front of their little home, but I have seen many things done horribly out of scale. When I used to watch design shows and a designer would create a ‘theme room’ I would shudder. Yes, you may indeed like an Italian villa, who wouldn’t, but if you live in a ranch house in Wisconsin, it is not going to fit the scale of the house and really, it won’t feel right.

So, I wanted something in scale that would look nice, express the idea of ‘private property’ but still say ‘welcome neighbor, lets have a cup of coffee.’

Now, I love the look of this type of fence as it is very equestrian. It makes one think there might be a fine thoroughbreds head peeking over it at any moment in search of an apple. But, I also wanted a bit more ‘style’ to frame the yard. The front of my house is also where I have planted my little orchard, so both my veg garden and the orchard will be viewed from passers by, even more reason to make them more than just functional.

Here are some of the very rough sketches of plans I had from my little sketch book. I decided to go with the simple ‘X’ pattern. It is remeniscent of a horse paddock,  or even a fence to be jumped, but decorative enough to frame a small home.  The central X makes a great spot to highlight a low growing flowering plant, of which variety I have not yet decided. Here it is in its beginning states. First the poles had to be sunk in. I use a post hole digger. It is one of my favorite tools, as I love fencing. It is the architecture of the garden and if you get the architecture right on your project, the rest will follow wonderfully. Without a good sound base, your home or garden could be as unflattering as an ill-fitting dress. So, I dug the holes, leveled off the posts (pressure treated garden posts quite cheap only 4 dollars a piece). Then you need to level by eyesight. There was much standing back, as I did not only trust the level, because how it looks to the eye in this case was more important to me. I am sure my neighbors, who probably already think me a little nuts, were wondering what I was up to now. So, here is the next phase You can see I installed the top and bottom sections and the cross pattern. I can see this garden and fence from the windows in my little sitting room  (my command central) You can see the picket fence I installed last year. It was going to be white and may still be, but I have not yet decided. I was happy that I can see my veg garden from this room. Certainly, it does not look as nice and orderly as I will want it to be, as I envision it, but part of the homemakers skill, I believe, is to be happy in the moment. Knowing there is more to do to make this look ‘finished’ feels good to me. For, I can enjoy it as the work I have done and also the thrill of seeing my ideas come to life. But, unlike some jobs, I do not dread the future work, for I am doing what I love.

I have in my sitting room what I call a ‘thought box’. It is an antique drawer from an old cabinet that used to keep old letter type. I am sure you have seen these around. They are narrow and full of little compartments, but when you tip them up on their side, like a frame, it is a little divided world. I have one that rests on the ledge of the chair rail in my sitting room. I sometimes haphazardly put things in the little boxes. It changes with my moods and sometimes I don’t think about it and then look back later and go, “ah,”. It can be therapeutic and also reveal a little of yourself. In it right now are some shells and sea sponges from my hubby and my time on the water in our boat. Treasures. Old family things, a calling card form a great grandmother etc. But in one of the little cubicles is a fortune from a fortune cookie, it reads : “Doing what you like is Freedom. Liking what you do is Happiness”. And, really, I think that says it all.

We can be in the midst of the chaos of our ‘making over our homes’ but if we do try and keep to a schedule to make living in the moment happy, then tomorrows work load is not a dread but a happiness. Liking what you do is Happiness.

Now, back to my fence. If you were to have such a fence designed and installed it would be very costly, but this is very economical. In fact the cross pattern is made from strapping, which is under a dollar a piece! It is not pressure treated, but it doesn’t matter, as it is getting painted white in outdoor weather sealant paint. In the old days, there was no pressure treating, you merely treated it yourself. Even the little finials, here I have only one installed, are very cheap at my local lumber yard and they simply screw into the post. I have since decided on another design finial, which you will see when the fence is done and painted. You can also see that this section sits in front of my veg garden. This, too, is in a very ‘beginning’ state. But, the important bits are in, the good soil and some of the plants, they don’t know rather or not the garden looks pretty! I will show before and after of the veg garden, however, as it progresses. I have some lovely sketches of different ideas I want for my veg garden I will show one day.

Speaking of sketchbooks, you should, as a homemaker, keep not only a journal of your schedule, but  a ‘sketchbook’. It doesn't matter if you can draw; stick figures and boxes filled in with marker and labeled with scribbles are fine and do wonders to help you plan. Things from gardens, room design, to even table layout for your party, because easier, more fun and have a more tactile ‘real job’ feel to them in this manner. It might seem silly, but later on you can look back and remember and recall how you have built up your little world from ideas to scribbles to reality. It is a very powerful tool and helps to feed your future ACTION! Then, when you recall the man at the mountains summit feeling powerful, you can look around you at the world in which you and your family live and think, “I made this”. Climbing a mountain is pretty great, but so is creating a world in which to live and feel ‘at home’. A very powerful breed are we homemakers.

As I mentioned, having cut my finger did slow down my day. I was not able to work on my fence, but I did get to my usual chores. I even had time to make a quick batch of cookies for our tea after dinner. I doubled the batch and put the rest in waxed paper. I thought it so cute, I had to snap a shot of it. Now, this is about the size of what you would buy ‘ready made’ at the grocery store for around 4 –5 dollars. I made a double batch of cookies, baked up half and put the other half this way, and I think the whole thing cost me around 2.00 for both the baked cookies AND this tube of dough. This is definitely cheaper and better and I am sure many of you do this already. And, when I bake these I sprinkle a dab of coconut on the top and it gets brown as they bake. They make very yummy cookies. It is just a basic chocolate chip cookie recipe from my old Betty Crocker book. I use almond extract instead of vanilla and add the coconut. I have not made a dessert in awhile, as we are all trying to watch our waistlines around here.

I have promised more pictures of what I wear and have been very lax with the camera in that respect. I went out to lunch Wednesday and here is what I wore.

Today, I have to go out marketing and to the shops, so here is my outfit. I definitely need to lose weight and am going to now try to really follow my 1955 diet. I have to say, though, that still being heavier than I am happy with, I feel better and more confident in my vintage clothes.

I love the head scarf and my new glasses. These are very vintage looking and are tortoise shell with little orange rhinestones in the corner. The head scarf is great if you are having an unruly hair day, or just to look pulled together last minute.

Now, I really want to touch briefly on the solitary aspect we sometimes feel as homemakers or vintage women. That aspect of feeling not quite ‘in touch’ with the world. I think it deserves its own post. But for now, really, it is the attitude and position of many artists to feel so disconnected and through our art, we try to make sense or connect in someway. And we homemakers, we are artists. We take in the world, digest it and remake  it in our homes. In a sense, we are sending out an SOS signal, “the note in the bottle”. We are waiting for the answer. Living unique and outside the norm is never easy, but most often rewarding. There are days of tears and sadness. Moments when you just look at the world and those around you and think, ‘how easy to join you to just be part of it all’ only we know, deep down inside, we wouldn’t really. We’d be imposters, masquerading about with the smiling bland faces of ‘normalcy’. Sometimes, it is better to be alone and know you are in the right place, then to be awash in the crowd having lost yourself.

I know that is little comfort when one feels alone at home. But, the modern world has given us this medium to use. The internet can connect us together and though we are not next door to one another, we can still try and connect. I really do want to, now more than ever, pursue my idea of a vintage organization and perhaps someday, we could meet in various cities, one never knows. We must think of our sisters of the past, sitting quietly bent over their needlework by the fires, the clock ticking, the cat stretches and the isolation is numbing. Yet, it is this very thing, this power in the moment of quiet contemplation, that has made we women what we are today. So, though it is often sad to be alone and we should try to find or make a way to share our vintage passion with others in our community, when we are faced with that day alone in the house and feeling blue, think of those sisters of the past. Take their power of silence and determination, and take a task to hand and sit by your own fire and create. Perhaps no one will find the bottle with the message, but at least you will have found yourself.

14 May 1955 “Cut my finger, I will be back tomorrow”

I cut my finger this morning at while preparing hubby’s lunch for the day. It didn’t need stitches only butterfly bandage, but I have been chasing my tail all day. I WILL be back tomorrow with a nice long blog, I promise.

It was interesting to see the comments on the sometimes solitary life of a SAHW (I think that is the correct way to put it) and I have been thinking on this of late as well. We should discuss it tomorrow. Perhaps, if any of you feel like it, you could tell your solution for getting out of the blues over sometimes feeling alone and needing a ‘like-minded vintage gal’. This makes me determined, all the more, to some day make a way for we vintage gals to connect even more. Until tomorrow, then.

11 May 1955 “A little News and A Big Answer to a Question.”

The Japanese ferry Shiun Maru sinks off of Takamatsu, Shikoku; 168 are killed.

The Siun Maru was a Japanese National Railway (JNR) ferry that sank in the Seto Inland Sea after colliding with another JNR ferry, the Uko Maru, in thick fog on 11 May 1955. A lack of radar onboard contributed to the accident. Many school children were among the 160 people killed. The sinking of the Siun Maru encouraged the Japanese government to go ahead with the Honshu-Shikoku bridge project, the longest suspension bridge in the world. [I wonder if hearing of such a tragedy began the healing between Japan and the states. I have a few articles about how the Japanese were perceived post war in the USA. If I can find it, I have a lovely article about a GI who married a Japanese woman and how she was well received in her neighborhood and how her neighbors would be included in a tea ceremony she would sometimes have. It was very sweet and showed that the 1950s' as many want us to believe, was not, in fact, only a time of severe racism. In fact, having had been in Europe and fighting beside many varieties of people, probably played a major role in American perceptions of one another.]

This movie was released today. Again, though the modern me was always fascinated by 1950s horror movies, the 1955 me, most likely would not go. I think it was more for children on Saturdays and Teens, but I might be wrong. Any of you old enough to know of these movies, correct me or give us your take and info. Who was the audience for these movies? I suppose many adults would be into it.

I think, the rise of this type of movie, much as horror films current increase in production, is an example in part of a society trying to forget the fear of the real world and to have the ‘bad guy’ be very clearly defined. Certainly, it is almost a release to see the ‘bad guy’ as a monster from outer space or under the sea than the subtle reality of the real ‘ monsters’ often in our own government and world. To have come out of WWII and recall WWI certainly, those who were once thought friends and allies became monsters to us. Even the ways of life and thinking had, in a way, become a subtle monster, but not one you could get your hands on. Probably the same reason Westerns became such a big genre in the 30’s thru the 50’s. The bad guy wears ‘the black hat’ and is killed by the good guy at the end. We felt a comfort in that. It was easy to understand and see good and bad and it helps to hide, for a little while, from the real world which is more often than not, all too grey.

I thought I would maybe make today’s blog my response to a great question I received from a commenter, Sarah:

Hi 50sgal!
I'm sorry to ask such a personal question but have you always been a stay at home wife? I am giving up my job in 3 weeks to stay at home - both of us are just fed up with rushing around all the time and have decided to 'do without' instead. (really it won't be doing without as we'll have the necessities just not the luxuries!)
I was wondering how you found the transition? At the moment I'm worried that I could easily end up spending everyday just channel hopping and then having a panic of activity just before my husband walks through the door! Do you have any tips for a newbie? How was your transition to being a housewife? Did you make the move before your 'time-machine' experience or did you do it so that you would be able to complete this wonderful project? What do your husband/ family / friends think about it? It was my husbands suggestion but some of my friends have been dismissive and my family downright hostile. I'm sorry for all the questions but I don't know anyone else who stays at home without children and the only blogs I have found on the internet are written by women who stay home for religious reasons (not that that's a bad thing - it's just not why I decided to).
I do love your blog - I have only been a regular reader for a few weeks but I have been reading back in your posts and the more I read the more I agree with you!!
Thank you for taking the time to read this (very long!) comment,

Well, first off No, I have not always been a stay at home wife. I have been really only a Homemaker since the inception of this project. What and how I lived ‘at home’ prior to 1955, I would not label a homemaker. Here is the rundown to my own path to becoming a Homemaker:

I have been not in the working field for some time, true. Before that, I did every thing from work for an artist, buy for an antique shop, work in cafe’s and finally ran and owned my own flower shop. After the last venture, I sold my shop and decided to take a break from the work world and decide why I was actually on the earth. The modern dilemma of ‘findings one self’. ( I have since found that rather than bother looking for yourself, it is better to get on with the business of living and you will appear soon enough. The modern problem of self and purpose soon fades when there is work to be done)

It felt odd, those first weeks. It is funny, as it has been over three years since then, but the first two weeks are really imprinted upon me. I had gone from literally being at my shop seven days a week, 10 hours a day to nothing. I had a booming wedding business, as the Cape is a desired location for weddings, and often found myself setting up at posh clubs or seaside locales, coordinating my designers with our cell phones, praying the heat would hold off, the flowers wouldn’t wilt and that the brides and their mother’s wouldn’t turn on us with knives. A very hectic life to suddenly, Nothing.

I remember that first day I woke up and and thought, “Huh, I don’t HAVE to be anywhere today.” My husband was still working, as he kept his job while I ran my business. We toyed with the idea of it becoming a joint venture, but decided our marriage was more important, owning a business is VERY stressful.

So, there I was, day one: no job; no responsibilities. No one was going to call me and say, “the flowers aren’t here or they sent the wrong ones or the cooler just died and all the flowers for three weddings are wilting” Nothing. Silence.

I remember, I got into my car and drove to our local little shop where they have coffee. I bought a cup, put on some music and just drove.

Cape Cod is very beautiful in the summer. This was late summer and the Cape was pregnant with possibilities. The beach. The shops. Nature walks. I was where many come for holiday and I had a full tank of gas, no worries and all the time in the world.
I drove towards the end of the cape, to Provincetown. I made it as far as Brewster, and stopped at a local park and walked. Then I went to some shops, playing tourist. I remember thinking, “Oh, this would be good for flowers, or I could use this for a wedding”. It was hard to NOT shop for the store. Where did my personality exist outside of my work. Was the definition of me only in the work I did or had done?

I ended up driving a lot that week. I would throw my bike in the back of the car and go. I walked a lot on the beach. We didn’t have our boat yet, or I would have had that.

Then opportunity came in the form of a place to stay on the ocean. My hubby’s grandfather has a house on the water. He had a boathouse, where sailboats were kept and it contained a small two floor apartment. We moved there, bought a boat (a 30’ Morgan sailboat) and hubby left the security of his 10 year job.
So, we became vagabonds. Hubby grew out his beard and we sailed. Our days were dictated by the tides and the weather. It was a free time and we had fun AND adventures, including some close calls on the sea. We made various jaunts back and forth to the Vineyard (Martha’s Vineyard, an island off the coast of Massachusetts for you non-US readers).

After awhile, the money lessened and hubby became bored not working. He rejoined the workforce and now had a commute to the city (Boston).

Luckily, my lovely husband did not insist upon my return to work. I wasn’t ready. I really felt the work force was not for me. I returned, for awhile, to one of my old love :horses. I began riding again and took some lessons at a local stable. I even began Polo lessons (something I promise myself to return to one day).

Then, there was what was to become the eventual drama of moving my family ( my mother had contracted Alzheimer's as mentioned in a previous post) out here. At first, I was happy. It was nice to rebuild relationships and to share family Christmas. That, in and of itself, is a novel’s worth of emotions, happenings and final outcomes. To make it short, during that time, we moved out of the boathouse and to Boston to the Back Bay.

I really consider the path to my current happiness in life to really start from Boston. We were lucky enough to live on Commonwealth Ave. which has a central park way that runs up and down the street. A great spot for the dogs and walks etc. This is where I really began to peek in the mirror. To take brief glances at my idle pointless life and wonder. “What?” “Who?” My hubby didn’t always seem to love work, but he seemed happy. He certainly wasn’t wondering ‘who he was’. I did not have that.

I returned to my love affair with art ( I studied art history at university). I began some classes at the Museum School and really loved it. This lead to my acquiring a studio in Somerville. It was small, but it was my own little place to exist in paint pots and have sketches hanging. What I noticed I liked most about this studio, was setting it up. I built walls and installed antique windows. I drug up the two flight of stairs old sofas and recovered them in IKEA sheep skin rugs. I dumpster dove old Persian rugs and layered them on the floor. I found myself having as much time and even more effort in ‘making over’ the studio than actually painting. I did do a lot of painting, though, and my classes really pushed me to pursue that. But, I was really just making a faux little home somewhere. I loved our apartment and we were lucky to have the first floor, so we had 15 foot ceilings with old moldings and fireplace, wonderful wood floors. But, it wasn’t really my home.

Then, the world sort of suddenly stopped in a way. The current recession hit and after trips back and forth to the Cape all the time I figured, let’s conserve and move back there full time.

So, we packed up and said goodbye to our flat in the heart of the city and to my little studio and moved back to the Cape. I didn’t realize how much I actually missed having a yard and being in the ‘country’ until I got back. I went full tilt into planning gardens and getting bees, though still feeling very lost in a way. I sort of felt on autopilot. I had many things I wanted to ‘get back to’ my painting and reading etc. But, really that first summer was spent between my Father having a stroke, my mother’s increasing illness and keeping myself distracted with swimming and the ocean.

By the end of last year I had really just discovered blogs. After seeing other people try similar projects I thought, “well, let me see what it is like”. I have always loved history and study, so it could be the next ‘diversion’. It was one of the best decisions I think I have made in a long time.

You ask how my transition to homemaker was and really it was sort of gradual. I had thought it would be a good project in that I could use it as a focus to pinpoint my loves of design and fashion etc. What really was meant to be a sort of year long history perspective/ personal study has turned into a lifestyle. Really, it has either turned into me, or I into it, or somehow, amongst the old magazines, ironing and baking, I just sort of emerged. It really began to seep into every part of my life.

You ask how others have taken to it. I think, for the most part my husband, being used to my various schemes and whims, just took it in stride. Then, he began to see the luck of having wash done and beds made and meals prepared without having to consider it. I think, lately, he has almost begun to see that indeed, this is not a whim, but an honest to goodness change. I am not sure how he feels over all, if he thinks I am just sticking to something a little longer, or if I have truly found a new form of happiness. He is very supportive and I am very lucky, no we are very lucky, to have found one another.

I think the most surprising and one of the hardest parts of this experiment was how two of my ‘friends’ responded. One, really my best friend, sort of went 'gung-ho’ for the whole thing. She found herself dressing vintage all the time (she already loved 1950s clothes and sewing so it wasn’t a stretch) but she was so into it, so fast that she was soon talking to me telling me she wanted one day to have her ‘career’ be a homemaker. I was happy to have someone so in it with me for the long haul. However, maybe she dove in too deep too fast. There was a moment when she suddenly, and I still do not know why, just stopped. She stopped calling me. I heard through a mutual friend that she and another friend were talking about me and not necessarily in a positive way. Here I was, going along living my life and doing what felt right and good and then I found out two of my friends were beginning to do the things without me and purposely not inviting me. I was told they thought, “ I thought I was better than them and that I wouldn’t enjoy what they were doing because it was too modern and not 1955”. It really began to be almost an insult from their lips, “Oh, your ‘project’” they would say. It was as if I had set about to offend or set myself above them. How this happened, I do not know. For me, it was almost overnight, I went from having a close friend who shared my passion, to someone who was talking about me and planning days out without including me.

I will never really know why she felt or feels that way. I cannot walk her path nor she mine. And, really, maybe that was the problem. In searching for her own path, she saw me suddenly have such purpose, she thought she would follow me along on my road. Only, setting herself up for what she thought I thought was the norm for everyone, she turned on me and when I spun around to laugh with her, as we have done in the past, she was gone. Her little hat and white gloves were put away. The dresses and crinolines replaced with her jeans. And our bond severed. We are still friends, certainly, but it feels different. Maybe 1955 was just too far away for her and she didn’t like the commute.

So, my advice in that vein is, even though you may only be choosing to become a homemaker in modern terms, be prepared for odd responses. Women today, for some reason, will often react to this decision as if you have lost your mind or as if you are ill. They may treat you as if you have contracted a disease and they certainly don’t want to catch anything that means they have to iron and cook. But, and here is what is important, If you find that you love it, as I have found, it won’t really matter. We all have many friends through our lives and sometimes we grow apart. It is just part of life. But, the true friends and those who will hold you up and support you even when you make decisions they think are odd, ARE the true ones. It is a good sorting mechanism in a way. When those who do not understand, question you, tell them you have all of women’s history as an example. There have been centuries of we women who ‘stay home’. Even though we are not expected to today, there is much benefit to it.

I have come to really feel that there is inherent in many of we women, the desire to nest and build the strength of the home. It takes a great strength to go on and continue with the work of the home during wars, and it was not only WWI and WWII. Women have been those strong home warriors since the first time people stopped being nomads, set down their roots, planted crops, kept animals and waved their sons and husbands off to battle. The very study of the woman at home is very interesting and can and has filled countless texts. For example, the woman of the middle ages had much more power and rights than her Renaissance sister. The middle ages often saw women on landed estates running the show while their men were off to battle. They had not only to manage all the household (and though there were scores of servants sometimes, these women had to know how to run and aid them) and handle money and decide on crops and building etc. Unfortunately, one of the backlashes of the Renaissance for women, was it was the time that their place began to become 'decorative’. Though, in all honesty, it was not only men who put us in that place. We all know how a gown and a pretty bit of lace can make a girls heart race, but women lost many personal rights to freedom and land ownership then. It was the time that ‘thinking’ began to take importance over ‘doing’. Another example of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

We need now, really, to take pride of doing and regain our thinking together. So, if you feel the pride of place and the importance of the home that has been our women’s history, that can often give you the courage to look the opposing women in the eye and say, “ I am doing the most important career there is. I am living history”.

I found very little resources and that is why my trip back to 1955 has been such a rich source. Of course I wasn’t really intending on becoming a homemaker permanently. I just wanted to see what a woman in 1955 at home would have experienced. In 1955 a woman choosing to be a ‘homemaker’ was not ridiculed. Though, there were women in university and doctors and lawyers etc back then, they did not mock or look down on their sisters who chose to ‘stay home’. I have often commented that my trip back to 1955 is really an education in the ‘University of the Home’. And, of course since then, I really believe my role of homemaker no longer merely a year long ‘project’ but my ‘calling’ if you will. A place I feel rather ‘at home’ if you will excuse the pun.

My advice for you concerning, and I quote; “I'm worried that I could easily end up spending everyday just channel hopping and then having a panic of activity just before my husband walks through the door!” First and foremost, get rid of the TV. I know this sounds drastic and you don’t have to literally get rid of it, but try perhaps not having cable or any means to have a variety of channels and then try covering it up or putting it in a closet for a few weeks. Then bring it back and use it as a means of casual entertainment. Watch movies on weekends, say, or an occasional show with your hubby. This is THE biggest distraction. The other, of course, is the computer. I have really tried to be strict with myself and use it only for my blog and of course my research. I even feel guilty as I do not read and comment as much on others blogs as I would like, but I have to be careful or you will find your day gone in such activity. Use it as a reward for that ‘break time’.
Secondly, treat is as a job, no a CAREER. You are both your boss and your staff. So, give yourself designated break times. Make a lunch and sit and read a magazine or look at some blogs with a sandwich and tea and maybe a sample of your latest baking experiment. But, know first and foremost,this is a REAL CAREER. You can either just live in your house, where you do the minimal to eat and sleep there and use it as a place to hang your clothes and watch your TV or you can MAKE A HOME. To do that means you have to treat it as a job. Make a schedule. You can be flexible with yourself, after all you are your own boss, but plan each day. Even if you just scribble down a few things you would like to achieve that day, the power of ‘crossing off the list’ is not to be underestimated. You will soon find you cannot believe how much you can do in a day and your desire to ‘channel surf and go online’ will slip away, as doing is more fun the being. I am sure there are people who would like to try this sort of life and think, “well, I can just control myself with the tv” but I am telling you, at least from my standpoint, that tv is probably the cause of and continuing enabler of modern angst and laziness. Really, just try it a month without it, you can always get it back and you know they will rerun anything you wanted to see.

What is great about the Homemaking Career, is it really can be designed to your needs. There are many constants and set rules that should be obeyed. Learn to cook and bake. Learn to sew (if you have no desire to make and design your own clothes at least learn to sew on buttons mend tears and rips) Washing and Ironing each take a separate day and the study of stain removal can save a lot of money, but there is a lot of leeway for personal growth. If you always wanted to paint watercolors, that can become part of your day, as you learn to do more and get through your lists, you will have time and energy to pursue those passions you have. You will be surprised at what you learn and how differently you look at life.

I am really also a newbie. I have become a homemaker since January of this year and yet, I don’t feel unqualified to give advice on homemaking, because in my trials and tribulations, I do feel I have amassed a set of skills and knowledge, but and here is the Third thing: KNOW YOU HAVE NEVER LEARNED IT ALL. I don’t think there will ever be a time when a good homemaker says, ‘Well, that’s all I need to know’. Really, that is true in anything we do, if we wish to do it well. I think is was Socrates who said, “the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing”. In other words, there is always more to learn and really isn’t that exciting? I would think even a great chef would be a wiser one if he knew there were more and better ways to make and prepare food. So, in that, approach each new chore and task with the idea that you are learning. You will make mistakes, but not only will you learn you may discover another way and then you can share it back into the community of women, who will thank you for it. Nothing is ever done so good that it is not done again a new way.

Get as many books on homemaking as you can lay your hands on. Go to your local used book stores, thrift stores, tag sales. Failing that, there is always EBay. Here are two books I would really recommend. They are from the late 1940’s early 1950’s. Also, any old cookbooks often have tips on homemaking and there are countless tips and articles in old magazines.

I am finding that the concept of vintage knowledge sort of goes hand in hand with a happy approach to being a homemaker. There has not been much written of late that really addresses, I don’t believe, in the way they once did. Now, many books are very specific and narrow where these old books are rich with many skills. Really, a good homemaker is a well-rounded Renaissance woman, she can do it all, look good doing it, and is well read and pleasant to be around; she is dependable and often depended on. Now, who wouldn’t not want to aspire to that?

I think one of the most important aspects I have found with this project is my voice. I feel more adult in a way and yet still feel very youthful and free. It is odd that so often I felt “I wonder if and when I will feel like an adult?” I always expected there would be a day when it would just happen. And yet, I think subconsciously, there was a fear that ‘being adult’ meant no fun and no frivolity. I have since found that to be the opposite. I think what I feel now in my own ‘adulthood’ is that the fun and frivolity I feel to dress in a vintage outfit and just go out feels freer as an adult, because how I felt before, I would have been concerned about what ‘others thought’. That is really an immature thought. Of course, adults feel this, but I always admired how really old people just sort of did what they wanted and didn’t care. That is the level of maturity that is very freeing. Not that I want to go out and hurt people and not care, but the worry of “do I have the right things or am I wearing the right clothes etc”, having that gone is a great release.

So, I hope that answered your questions and didn’t scare you away. It is one of the most rewarding and sometimes frustrating jobs, but boy is it a boost for your self worth. The skills and knowledge you can gain from learning to make and run a home is endless. The happiness you gain from the happiness you bring others is another boon to homemaking.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Henry David Thoreau:

“Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake.”