I received a comment on one of my blogs (the post from 18 January 1956) that has really saddened me. I was not quite able to make out what it is they thought I meant (you can read the comments at the end of that post if you wish)but, it has made me feel rather sad. As if I had written to specifically offend someone. However, that was never my intent. I simply have had, with my project, my eyes opened to the way the world is at present, because when I compare it with 60 years ago it is amazing to me. Even those today who say, “Oh, it was like this back then”I am finding that what they say is not always the whole story. I merely want to find out and put forth the facts that I discover.
I have NEVER chose to put the option on this blog that allows me to ‘approve’ a comment. I feel, we are civilized ladies and gentleman and we all deserve to be heard, rather or not I might agree. I think to ‘choose’ what I want you to see as comments would be wrong (for me and this blog, if you have that option do not think I am calling you wrong, see how sensitive this has made me!)Yet, for the very reason I dislike the ‘cable news channels’ who exist to have and put forward their opinion OVER fact and actual news and need to ‘invent’ news in order to fill hour after hour of broadcasting, I do want you to have and view each others opinions on what I say. They CHOOSE what they want to show you.
Certainly, I choose what I like to put into my post, but I do not censor what you can respond to it. And we have not always agreed and I would not want that. I am open to being changed of an opinion when one wants to present me with facts to the contrary. Yet, at the bottom of it all, we are all human beings and I think we should always consider each other on that level first. As it is said, “hate the sin NOT the sinner” and as we all have different ideas of sin, then we can at least see one another as friends.
I was going to do a post today about practical things, in answer to a question I received from a follower, but I might leave that until tomorrow. I am surprised how I really feel saddened by the comment. I should not be so sensitive and I usually try not to, but I hate to think that I have said something to hurt someone. So, today, I shall focus on the website and of course my usual day of chores. Tomorrow, I will make a post of practical points on scheduling, cooking, and sewing.
Until then, ladies and gentleman, have a fine day. And let us remember, we are friends first. Perhaps I have been rude in bringing in politics, but I really wanted this blog to encompass all that was going on in the world then and not just clothes and food. I think they are all a part of the whole picture and I think the modern version of the 1950s homemaker can and should be as informed in all things as possible. To make the right choices for self, home, children, and country.
I hope first and foremost to be your friend and not to offend.
I don't comment on here as much as I used to do, partly because of the evolution you mentioned a few posts ago, that you've changed from writing your experiences in 1955 into trying to meld the two and attempting to help other people in our community to do the same thing. I do still read your posts and I'm sorry that there has been a misunderstanding with another reader that has affected you so badly.
ReplyDeleteA massive E-hug to you and Anon. We all want the same sort of thing and I hope things sort themselves out.
Angel
Thank you. I sometimes feel more 'passioned' to want us, as a community, to be civic minded, but I must also counter that and balance it with good ole cleaning and baking and sewing. So, I promise more of that in the future and keeping the politics down a bit. I suppose because I,personally, have come to feel that the world, then the nation, the the town, the family, the home and the self are all somehow intereconnected and can be viewed together, I think others feel that way. I can't help but have a post where I talk of how to make a casserole mingled with my idea of 'personal civic duty' as that is how my mind works. But, I must be aware, in a community, of if and when I seem to be a 'loud mouth' or offensive. I think first and foremost manners and responsibility to others feelings IS imporatant and I hope I can make that clear. I duly promise more Recipes and Less Rants in the future!
ReplyDeleteI think I know which comment you are referring to and I was uncomfortable with it myself. I didn't know whether to laugh or be angry; some issues are beyond debate. Please remember you are a RESPONSIBLE, intelligent woman and don't need to apologize for your position and opinion. You have every right to express that opinion. Hopefully, your devoted readers know that intelligent women and men have the right to various opinions and can still maintain pleasant, civil, courteous interaction. This is a good time to remember that popular UK phrase: Keep Calm and Carry On. Here's hoping this is a good day and sending My Best Wishes.........Dianne
ReplyDeleteHoney, it's your blog, you write want you want to write... we the readers have the option to read it or not read it... that shouldn't change your thoughts and opinions.
ReplyDeleteIf someone is leaving comments under the Anon label... well, really... pretty easy to throw stones then isn't it.
I love your writing and I love that you are letting us in on your experiences and thoughts. Keep up the great work!
Thank you Dianne. I appreciate it. I also hope I do not, on this post, come off as if I am 'fishing' for sympathy. I truly, in my heart, wish us all to get along first and foremost regardless of individual opinion on various topics. I do intend to try and do more practical knowledge and rants on ACTION to those skills in my future posts.
ReplyDeleteI am VERY much looking forward to your post tomorrow about the "practical points on scheduling, cooking, and sewing." Until then, carry-on as usual knowing, that you blog has inspired social debate - and no matter what side of the fence people are sitting, they are thinking and paying attention to what you think and have to say. You truly have sparked a "revolution", so relax with a cup of tea and be proud ...
ReplyDeleteMy 2 cents: Politics are always controversial. This is a time in our country that politics are incredibly polarizing. Neither side seems to have any respect for the other side. I, for my part, am always a wee bit disappointed when somebody I know and like doesn't share the same beliefs as myself, but as an adult, I suck it up and move on. C'est la vie. I don't come here to argue politics, I come here to enjoy the company of lovely vintage-minded ladies. If there was a wee bit of politics in your last post, it didn't even register with me. I just moved on to the rest of the great content on this site. Don't feel bad, 50's Gal. Just keep up the good work. This project of yours is great and enlightening, and that's why I'm here.
ReplyDeleteThank you MissieFaye. I too think that post was not either one side or another on politics, but then I was worried I wasn't seeing it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your 2 cents, I shall stash them away in my emotional pin money jar.
Not to worry, Donna, you have always made it clear that all comments are welcome. However, that being said, my personal opinion is that an unacceptable line was crossed with that comment. Frankly, by debasing your opinion, and your right to express it, the commenter's own credibility is brought into question. Being a responsible adult and homemaker means having concerns and OPINIONS. No apology is EVER necessary for caring about the world around you. Again, sending My Very Best Wishes ...........Dianne
ReplyDeleteI guess my take on the comment and yours posts is this.... (and PLEASE correct me if I am reading you wrong)....
ReplyDeleteI get the impression that you tend to lean towards following the Dem view. I personally feel that is fine. To each their own.
The problem lies in that you have repetatively bashed the large corporation for its control over the American people. Most non-Dem's look at the Dem policies and that is EXACTLY what is seen. They want a monstorous government that controls every aspect of or lives. A huge over-grown corporation that cares only for itsself and how much it can make, and no concern for its' "workers" or their lives.
I myself follow NEITHER road. I guess you could call me a Libertarian. I don't like big governement. I beleive in personal responsibility and community care for those who need it. Not governemental run programs that NEVER work. I, personally, am a Christian. I believe that it is the CHURCHES obligation and responsibility to tend to the poor, orphans, widiowed, etc. I feel that that there are homeless and such is a societial failure, and not the gov's failure. I find the idea of people who are second and third generation welfare families appalling. I live near a VERY bad area for that.
In the 1960's, there were adds placed all over the south ENCOURAGING people of color to come to Michigan for their welfare benefits. And they flocked here. Look up Benton Harbor Michigan...and view the history. SAD. They came and got their benefits (which were most likely neded at the time) However, there is a problem. The government doesn't want them off of the government nursing breast. As long as they are feeding from the gov. coffers, then they will continue to vote for the people who made the policy to put them there in the first place. It is all a vicious cycle.
And many of these "poor" aren't as "poor" as you think. When I worked as a bank teller, I had a woman come in with her 4 kids. Each had a different daddy. They were all dressed in designer clothing I couldn't begin to think of affording. By the time she was done with her state and fed aid checks for those kids...she had cashed over $7,000.00 in checks. This same woman also recieved food stamps and got rent/utility subsidy. Now where is THAT POOR? I have no doubt this woman hadn't finshed high school, which means there is NO WAY she could get a job that would pay what she was getting on aid. Why should she even consider trying???
My hubby brings in around $4,000.00 a month, but we make too much for me to get help when my youngest was a baby with his formula through WIC. So I had to spend $75.00 a week or more for his formula. That is my normal ENTIRE grocery money.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, because of gov, any illegal alien can come in and get food stamps, WIC, free med care, rent subsidy and welfare. They are well are not as poor as you think. I would see families come in, and after mom, dad, and all upteen children cashed their checks it was many thousands of dollars again. They live on the farm where the farmers provide housing. They send their money back to Mexico to fund more to come to America. Again...a vicious cycle.
I am bothered that the money they TAKE from my husbands hard earned money is used in ways that NEVER benefits my own fellow Americans.
It is stuff like that which makes me want LESS gov.
I am not disrepecting your personal political views. Not at all. Thank God we live in a land where we can have our own views and opinions. I am only saying that I think I see where that poster was coming from in that they disagree with you. I just feel they didn't express it as clearly as they could have.
I agree with you that the cable news programs are so biased and present their VIEW of the news. Very little of what we hear is true news. However, CNN is as biased as FOX ever dared to be. It is just that FOX tends to go right when the others go left.
I don't think you should have to not speak your mind here, it is YOUR blog. Should you write something I disagree with, I skim the blog and move on. I believe you have every right to speak what you want. That is what freedom of speech is all about. I applaud you for speaking your mind. Many people are too worried about the "backlash" of their comments.
I will say I also agree with another commentor that I enjoy your posts that are more practical more often, but that is only MY opinion.
Lastly (sorry for the length here), but you have a truly compasionate heart for the world and the people of it. That is a WONDERFUL thing. I know that is where you are coming from in many of your "rants". I agree whole heartedly that we need stronger communities and people who will help those who need it. Should every person who is in plenty help those who need, we wouldn't need gov. programs to do it. It would be taken care of.
I applaud you for not 'censoring' comments. That is the childish way to handle things. The grown up thing to do is to present your opinion, accept others rebuttal, make your own and move forward. That is what you are choosing to do.
If I haven't been clear, please let me know.
Lorie
This is your personal project. If she feels the need to cry because of someone's blog then she has problems she needs to take care of.
ReplyDeleteThank you lorie, though I have never stated my own political beliefs they are actually not specifically Dem either. I feel that the welfare system AND the public schools are exactly what should NOT be done by a government, though they were both needed. I, too, am appalled also by those people I have seen who recieve 'gov money' from social security who 'cannot work' because they are recovering drug addicts etc, and yet see they have no intention of getting better and spend their money on video games, liquor and wasting the day, while my hubby works hard for every penny.
ReplyDeleteI guess I don't have a particular leaning, I just become upset when I see the way the money we ALREADY pay being squandered and when I think that could be reallocated to a health care for ALL and then readjust the welfare system. But, I am not a politician and have no direct ability to see such a plan through.
I, however, do feel sad that the corporation also is bad in its present state. Basically if ANYTHING (gov. corporations, people)if they 'get too big for their breeches they tend to become selfish'.
I thank you for your comments and feel they are very true and heartfelt. I hope I have not over reacted, but for some reason it just hit me the wrong way.
I honestly want all people to be self responsible and just care about those around them as well as themselves, but I do see that when some do that many OTHERS take advantage, as you say with the welfare system, which I think deplorable.
It is all a mess, I suppose and that is why I shall, for a time, stick to the home skills. But sometimes a gal just needs to speak up, I suppose. Thank you for understanding. And, I have voted, in the past, both Rep. and Dem. I find it hard to understand why people need to associate only with one party as if one side has all the answers. IF we could just look at what is going on at the moment and vote with what makes sense to our heads and our hearts than it'd matter little rather someone was a donkey or an elephant. But, I digress.
Thank you for being understanding, all who have commented.
It is your blog, your site, so write what ever you want. Beware of those trolls, though, so comment editing may be something to think about. Some people just like to stir the pot. Honestly, I just don't think you should feel the need to defend a word you write. You've really put together a nice website and there are many who are appreciating it. Keep your chin up!
ReplyDeleteThank you lulu-perhaps I have been a bit sensitive and I had never thought of it being a 'troll' perhaps that was why I could not exactly pinpoint THEIR point. But, it does hurt a gal to see written, we could have been friends.
ReplyDeleteI shall be better tomorrow, sometimes we gals have a paritcularly moody moment.
agreeing w/the rest in that, since it is your blog/site, you reserve the right to say what it is you want to say. if we disagree, we disagree, but if we feel the need to say so, we should do so with decorum....and our names in print, so as to take full responsiblity for our views as well. hang in there. this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, I love this social experiment. I just wanted to thank you for doing this, it's sparked conversation and debate with my husband and my parents. My husband and I like to live a more "simplified" kind of life, one more like what you're living in 1955, while my parents take advantage of everything modern, I know that's a bit backward for most people. I think it's noble to try to keep the good things about a decade and to shun the bad, but we must always remember not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just because somethings from the 50's are not socially acceptable, nor should they be, in this day and age, many things should be re-embraced and many are starting to be.
ReplyDeleteYou know, this discussion has reminded me of something I read in another blog the other day…
ReplyDeleteThe author wrote:
“Kids Today are More Depressed Than Ever Before; My Solution
Here's something that's sad, if not surprising:
More of today's US youth have serious mental health issues than previous generations.
To which I say:
More of today's US youth need to learn to dress with self-respect, forgo the advanced degree, learn a trade, smoke tobacco in moderation, enjoy the occasional drink, and view members of the opposite sex as treasures instead of conquests.
At least that's what worked for me. What they'll probably do is take a bunch more Prozac.”
Do you recall who wrote that…your husband on his blog. There is a phenomenal amount of wisdom in his words. You have a trade, you are a homemaker. You are also a blogger, a natural leader, and have a genuinely compassionate heart for not only your family but the world around you.
I would say that today is a good day for you to have a pot of your favorite tea, and then get involved in a fulfilling project like cleaning out a closet or working of some sewing. Remember who you really are. That person who upset you doesn’t REALLY know you. Heck, we the regulars don’t REALLY know you. YOU know you, and from what I have seen, you are a survivor. Be strong and recall what the whole thing is really about. Being the best you can be within the parameters of what makes you the happiest.
Lorie
50's Gal, please do not allow one anonymous post change how you do things......I love this blog and read it everyday.
ReplyDeleteOne thing about living in North America, we have the freedom to express ourselves, it would be a shame to hinder what our countrymen foughtin WWI and WWII for, to have this blessed freedom, to live how we wish, to express our opinions and to carry on at home.
Life is too short for baloney.....you are an articulate and educated woman whose opinions are well thought out, I have never sensed any malice in your intent at all.
So feel free to carry on the good fight at home, as a fellow apron gal (okay, I don't really technically cook very much, nor wear an apron and my fav phrase is "If I can nuke it, I can do it") LOL......but I love the 50's and the community here as well.
Besides my stumbling meandering of words, you probably get the jest of what I'm saying here. I'm a little sleep deprived today :)
Mom in Canada
Thank you all so kindly. Here, again, I find that you are all so kind, considerate and there when a gal needs her.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it was rather silly of me to be so taken aback by the comment, but there you go. And, in a selfish way I suppose, I am glad of it in that I can see how wonderful and thoughtful you all are.
I am glad to see my hubby's words quoted. He is, indeed, a wise man. Even when I knew him at 19 he was more so than many a 50 year old I knew.
I am lucky in my hubby and lucky in all of you and I am sorry that I have made such a mountain out of a mole hill.
Thank you for allowing me to be 'silly'.
I shall, as you say, attack a project. That is, in fact, what I did. The home, it's skills it can be so many things and one thing it does so well is become a sanctuary, a haven to get 'outside of your head' and into the work the ACTION of it!
It is true, though I am sure I should get bad comments on that as well, that sometimes the best Prozac can be to get up, dust yourself off and get to work. (of course, don't any of you on Prozac be offeneded, a gal can only speak from her own circle of experience.)
I am proud to have sparked any debate among you and am happy to be allowed to do so. Certainly, what we discuss here often ends up in conversations I have in my day to day life.
I am so proud that we have been allowed to build and to continue to grow such a community as this.
Thank you all again so much.
Oh, 50sgal, I don't even know what to say. As others have said, it's your blog and a person doesn't have to read it if they don't want to. If they don't agree with something you've said they can skip those parts, and if they feel the need to make a comment about something you've said, they can do so politely.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the basics of what you say, but as I mentioned before (you may not remember it now), I don't think it bad for some businesses to be bigger than others, as that can't be avoided, but it is up to the PEOPLE, not the government, to make sure that capitalism remains balanced in the country by shopping at smaller, locally owned places as much as possible. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves, not the government’s. People feel the need to have government step in and "make" people do this or that, but that's the wrong direction to go in.
Anyhow, I'm making a stab that the Anon poster was upset about the idea of you, in any way, supporting government stepping in where they don't belong to control us, when they constitutionally don't have the right to do so. A lot of people, including myself, are disgusted by how out of control capitalism has become. That doesn't make capitalism itself bad; it means that we, the people, have been either too lazy, or simply ignorant of how much we have allowed run amuck capitalism and big government to have the power and control instead of retaining it ourselves. We don't want our country to become a country run "by big government and bloated capitalism for big government and bloated capitalism". It needs to remain a country run "by the people for the people." But that can't happen by government stepping in because it causes us to lose even more of our freedom. I think this is the point that Fox News focuses on, which is good, but I think the point that they are missing is that unbalanced and bloated capitalism is just as bad as big government. In their effort to support capitalism, they should do so by protecting the ideals of capitalism while at the same time reminding the viewers that in order for capitalism to survive and thrive it needs to remain balanced, and to remain balanced it need to be supported on both ends of the spectrum, buying from locally owned stores as much as possible. I think if they were to do this, they would really be speaking for the majority of people on this issue, not just for capitalism as an isolated ideal. And, I do believe I'm right on this point. I know many good, Christian people who are beginning to understand this and are making the effort to shop local, small business as much as possible. They are beginning to understand that capitalism for capitalism's sake is not balanced and healthy for our country, and these are people who are not Dems. I honestly think this is one issue, when seen and understood this way, that many people, from all parties, find common ground.
If I misspoke for you, Anon, please correct me. But, I do believe that that was, at least, part of what you were trying to say. And, honestly, I think many of us would agree with you in that regard, including 50sgal (correct me if I’m wrong, 50sgal). I just think people are so devoted to a certain party that they don’t step back to look at whether or not what that party is saying is logical; run amuck capitalism is just as bad as run amuck government. I personally think both are silly, and detrimental to the health and growth of our country. There needs to be balance, and THE PEOPLE need to remain the ones in control of the country, seeing to it that things remain balanced.
Anon, I really hope you do see that nobody is “against” you. As 50sgal so generously said, we may not all agree on everything, but we can still be polite to each other and enjoy each other’s company. I hope you can patch things up with 50sgal. Sorry, 50sgal, that you are feeling so sad about all of this.
"It is true, though I am sure I should get bad comments on that as well, that sometimes the best Prozac can be to get up, dust yourself off and get to work. (of course, don't any of you on Prozac be offeneded, a gal can only speak from her own circle of experience.)"
ReplyDeleteSee, and everyone needs to be mature enough to know that that was exactly what you meant, and nothing more. I'm glad to see that you are feeling better about the whole thing, and silly or not, we love you.
Now, look, you "made" me stay on line longer than I had meant to, but your "trouble" is worth my time.
Although I don't know which comment you are referring to, I believe it is your blog and you can say what you want. If someone doesn't want to read it, why are they following you? Kori xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh!well, saddly that happens. This is YOUR blog and as we all say, you are free to write whatever you want and what belive or what you think, but of course not all the people think the same as you and some like to write bad comments.
ReplyDeleteI think we all come here to read you posts because we like what you write and it doesn't mean we all agree or think the same as you BUT we respect what you say and don't write bad comments.
Hope you don't feel sad anymore and perhaps you need to aprove the comments.
50’s gal,
ReplyDeleteI was quite surprised to see all the ruckus on here today when I got online. If I can borrow a phrase from my grandmother, it sounds like you let one of us “get your goat”. I agree with the others that this is first and foremost YOUR blog and as such you should not feel it necessary to censor yourself in order to please the public. We are all peace loving individuals who are allowed to express our own opinions.
My problem with the Anonymous post is that if they wish to express themselves in such a manner they should have the common courtesy to identify themselves. Almost everyone I’ve seen comment either identifies themselves via their login or they provide a tag at the end of the comment so that others can identify them. Hiding behind the word “Anonymous” seems a cowardly way to express an opposing point of view.
It seems that there are always people in this world who seem to flourish in causing others despair. The most important thing to remember is a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway”.
That is a great quote, Ron! I forgot about it until you mentioned it. I'm glad you did.
ReplyDeleteThank you again all, PL such lovely words and Ron I LOVE that quote. It is also true that I let it 'get my goat'. Yet, what a lovely outpouring of love and understanding today. A day of projects, recipe dreaming and planning my next dress ( I will announce the day I plan on making it if those who plan to follow suit want to 'feel the spirit' and do theirs on the same day!)has made me all the better for it.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow back on the blog horse.
Thank you all again.
Hi 50s gal,
ReplyDeletePlease don't be saddened by the comment of one person hiding behind their 'anonymous' sheet.
Listen to the 99 who support and love you, not the 1 who attempts to bring you down or try to to ruffle up some angry debate - some people absolutely thrive on that sort of drama.
I always remind myself that people see the world through their own set of glasses. Some see beauty and encouragement wherever they go and others see black clouds !
Keep up the great work. {{{{HUG}}}}
Michelle in Australia.
I agree with everybody else: I reread your post and I really don't see where you have offended! If someone is sad that you don't share the same views, then that is his or her problem. I actually find it sad that a person would try to play on your emotions like that, just because you don't share the same views. And I too don't fully get that person's point of view, it seems a bit nebulous.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people like me love you and your blog, and how you have influenced us in our daily lives. I definitely want to live a more vintage lifestyle now. You have a right to express your opinions, it is your blog!
Hugs to you 50sGal!!!! Less rants?! What a revolution to do?? Be the same. Thanks for ALL you do, the quantity and variety. I hope your gentle, feminine heart continues to mend as time passes and also because of all the DOING you are doing and maybe the care us ladies are sending you will assist as well. (Not to mention the support from your wise husband.)Continue bravely my dear. With much love, Linda
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, and check it everyday. I have no idea what the Anon poster was fussing about, and to not acknowledge who they are, seems to me like someone that likes to stir up drama.
ReplyDeleteYou have inspired me and influenced my life, I have enjoyed your journey and learned a lot.
Like everyone else has said, It's your blog, write what you want.
I think you are a kind, caring, lovely lady and polite.
Apron wishes to you,
Samantha
I am not a follower or a rah rah commenter, but I hope you take this in the vein I mean it in.
ReplyDeleteI read the comment that makes you sad and although the poster disagrees with you I don't think they did it in a hateful or cruel way. They have their opinion and you have yours. Oh boy do you have yours - sorry I couldn't stomach reading your novella of a reply.
But as others have said - it is your blog and your right to say whay you want and how you want to. In addition you are also in control of accepting and deleting comments.
In our everyday lives we are surrounded by people with different opinions and beliefs. I don't understand why this particular anon poster made you sad - but I wouldn't worry about it. I am sure at your age you have realized that not everyone is going to agree with you.
And may I add - blogger has spell check. It is your friend. I wish you would try it out. Ex: It is discern, not descern.
50sgal,
ReplyDeleteYou are VERY astute and informed, and it is not wrong at ALL to bring up politics. I think it a wonderful thing how your eyes have been opened since going back to the 1950s. Would that we all choose to do this. But, we don’t all, so instead, we are blessed to be able to see it through your eyes.
Although it is not fun to be saddened, your personality trait of sensitivity is admirable. It means that you are a caring person.
AND, I rather enjoy your rants. I love the fervor with which you care for our country and its standards and morality! Carry on, my friend!
Ditto to Zebu's excellent comment. Linda
ReplyDeleteIt makes me sad that you are sad, dear! :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't read all of the problem yet, but I agree to that if the anon commentor cannot even write a name nor a link to a blog or something, then you should not think too much of it. I've never seen anything, and I mean anything, offending on your blog or website. And of course you should bring up politics and of course we cannot dance in a ring and have the same meaning all of us, but we love you anyway. In fact American politics is very far from Danish, but I find it vey interesting anyway. Keep up the good work and your good mood. :)
warm e-hugs from Denmark