Sunday, December 6, 2009

6 December 1955 “Under the Weather”

ill in bed I am still rather ill. My throat is being a wretch and swelling and aching. Perhaps it is preparing me to lose weight this holiday season by showing me the futility of cramming fistfuls of sugared cakes into my gullet. Either way, it is rather sore and because of it I feel rather helpless and have spent the past few days in and out of bed and attempting to try to maintain elements of my homemaking, to no avail.

Since I have been ill, hubby has made me feel better in his telling me, “boy, do I appreciate what you do”, when he had to go to the grocery store. On his return from the grocery store he told me he really ‘appreciates what I do’ after trying to find things in the store, having to deal with lines and less than helpful sales staff. It is always nice to be appreciated. I think he is also missing his homemade meals.

Certainly, one would think the homemaker becoming ill must be ‘easier’ as you do not have to ‘call out’ at work. However, it makes one feel all the more miserable as you watch your chores pile up. Though my husband tells me not to worry, I do none the less. Not having done the weeks marketing has made it harder as I only had hubby get a few essentials when he stopped for me. You almost feel a disappointment. My hubby tells me I am being silly, because it doesn’t matter if the house is messy and he has to buy lunch a few days, but it does matter to me. It makes me feel as if I am letting him and myself down.

I imagine this feeling must be doubled for the mothers out there. Not being able to prepare breakfast or to attend to your children as attentively as you would otherwise. Certainly, I make a better nurse than a patient!

Sometimes in this day and age it can be hard, emotionally, to be a homemaker. There are those endless stares or questions when you say what you do. There are also the well-meaning who care, but you can’t help but glean from their smiles that they might be thinking, “Oh, of course you stay home, how clever you little darling, still it isn’t real work”.

Of course, I have come to wonder this year if that is just my sometime insecurity of my position being projected onto them. But, I am sure there are those who think it all bon bons and soap operas being at home. When really, you sometimes feel as if you are ALWAYS at work, for in a way, you are. You don’t get to leave your ‘worries at the office’.

So, here I am three days into my illness and am just now posting this small blog, so I also feel I am letting all of you down as well. It is amazing how many little things I do to make this household run, things I even took for granted until they stopped being done. I definitely appreciate my position all the more for having been sick these past few days.

How are all of you? I hope everyone is in line with their holiday preparations. I promise to get back to normal posts once I can sit up for longer than 20 minutes without feeling dizzy.

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